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Posted on May 29, 2012 via my life in MY guidelines with 42 notes
Source: theonethatgotaway1311
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Socialism:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.Communism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.Fascism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.Nazism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.Bureaucratism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..Traditional Capitalism:You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.An American Corporation:You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.A French Corporation:You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.Japanese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.An Italian Corporation:You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.A Swiss Corporation:You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.Chinese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.An Iraqi Corporation:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......Counter Culture:'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'Surrealism:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.Fatalist:You have 2 doomed cows...A West-Country Corporation:You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.A Brazilian Corporation:You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.Moffat:You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.An Irish Corporation:You have a million cows because they're fucking everywhereTumblr:You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.New Zealand:John Key has 2 cows. No body else has any cows.
Posted on May 28, 2012 via T.V.O.D with 65,885 notes
Source: british-tea-power
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My brain during the day:Potato, potato, ching chong tomatoMy brain at night:I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.
Posted on May 28, 2012 via 完璧それで有数 with 105,942 notes
Source: oceanick
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Holy fucken shit balls
Four sleeps.
Fuckkkk.
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Owls confirmed to be the creepiest birds ever. LOOK AT THE FUCKING THINGS. If you fail to notice the one on the left fucking SWALLOWING a rat, then you have the dude singing some satanic chant or something next to him, and then you have those two other fucking psychos synchronized to make you feel creeped the fuck out with their soulless dance of FUCKING DOOM.
I really am tempted to reblog this every time it’s on my dash. That description is one of the best things on the internet.
What even can’t just whattt owls are terrifying.
(via umistakemeforstraight)
Posted on May 28, 2012 via ay. with 189,996 notes
Source: tubaeric
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heh
(via starkidsunglasses)
Posted on May 27, 2012 via i'm such a dirty old man; with 33,360 notes
Source: -kunis
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You need to know that I have other sheep in addition to those in this pen.
John 10:16 (via seemsforever)Posted on May 27, 2012 via trace a line with 1 note
Source: seemsforever
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Badass
(via thelittlekneesofbees)
Posted on May 27, 2012 via with 380 notes
Source: latinamerican-worldfeminist
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Humans have two hands:
One for holding burritos and one for touching butts.
(via lesbian-obsession)
Posted on May 27, 2012 via What the fuck with 10,192 notes
Source: lurkskywalker
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Posted on May 22, 2012 via Gone with the Archie with 2,165 notes
Source: factoseintolerant
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When a girl buys you this book, you know she’s the one.
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(via icunteventhinkstraight)
Posted on May 21, 2012 via We are lesbians. with 880 notes
Source: wearesolesbians
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my girlfran is the best girlfran
Posted on May 20, 2012 via trace a line with 12 notes
Source: seemsforever
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Uncle starts telling me he’s not sure that non-white, non-straight, non-cis, non-able bodied, non-male people really have a disadvantage in life.
LOL let me tell you all the ways you are wrong.
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(via persistentinquiry)
Tash. 19. New Zealander.
